I don’t know what I’m trying to say so I’m just going to rant so bear with me. The shootings in SB really shook me up. What that boy did was disgusting. Shooting the blond, popular kids. And I feel like the only time the country ever hears about the popularity issue we have in our schools or about mental illness, its from a shooting or another tragic event, and it just fades into the background a few days later and everyone moves on.
I think this shooting is impacting me so strongly because I feel like I am categorized with this boy. Anyone with a mental illness is lumped into this unstable, murderous group. And it scares people. It scares me that I’ve been thought of this way. And yet there is no prevention. This boys parents called the police and told them they were worried he was going to hurt someone. The police came out and basically said, “He’s a wonderful boy. He’d never hurt anyone.” And that’s because they don’t understand that mental illness can take other shapes than the crazy-eyed guy in rags talking to himself on the street. And I just don’t know what to do.
The popularity issue is another thing that no one talks about. How is it that there is a social system that is so poisonous that it makes kids kill themselves and others. And yet its pervasive. Peoples lives revolve around what others think of them. And when you are so worried about what others think of you, you don’t have time to form a personality, a backbone, or confidence. Its so frustrating. But everyone buys into it. Like just because someone is pretty or rich or influential or whatever, their opinion of you matters more than your opinion of you.